How about a knowledge base?

Off-topic
1

Over the years, a biker picks up invaluable practical experience (often gained through frustrating trial and error) that he / she can pass on to newbies of the sport to smooth their induction into this incredible activity.

Biking is awesome, but it’s not easy and can be frustrating.

From the often extended ritual before leaving the house and starting your journey (compared to driving), to ensuring one has the proper provisions for changing weather etc.

So what knowledge does the collective brain of the London Biker have to espouse?

I’ll even start you off…

1) When using a petrol station forecourt tyre air pressure unit, don’t leave your valve caps on top of the unit as they likely won’t be there when you come to put them back on your wheels.

Vibrations from the unit will likely send the little b*stards rolling off and invariably into a grass verge or worse, through a sewer grate.

2

Always wear a belt with your trousers . . . you never know when you’ll be loosing weight :cool:

3

True…Shi**ing yourself when you come off your pride and joy has that effect. :laugh:

4

2) Don’t park with your front wheel pointing downhillYou’ll figure out why not 2 seconds after doing it for the first time.Or more accurately in my case - 2 seconds after your mate does it for the first time - and you have to stand his bike back up that is pinning him to a Ford Fiesta.In the carpark of the LB Summer BBQ.:Whistling: :smiley:

5

Always travel with a condom . . . . it makes an ideal emergency brake fluid reservoir cover.

6

Ooooooh you are so resourceful but we like you:D

7

Does that demonstrate your lack of basic contraception knowledge?

Most oils basically melt condoms, or have you tested this out Steve.

Kinky :hehe:

8

I find its always best to throw away your tool kit and replace it with a good book…gives you something to do whilst waiting for the AA :smiley:

9

Always take a dump before putting on your leathers

10

Sorry Afro, I should have qualified that . . . how irresponsible of me to suggest something so dangerous :w00t: . . . you are quite correct . . . the extra large condoms I have to use are oil resistant, they are not the usual material.

So yes, basically, if like Afro you’re a bit small on the willy front and use normal condoms from Tesco, don’t get oil anywhere near them and certainly don’t get brake fluid on them . . . :wink:

11

Always put the side stand down when you sit on the bike to fill up. * Cough *

12

always make sure your seat unit is securly fastened before going over bumpy terrain.

13

CB500 mirror locking nuts are reverse threaded. No amount of brute force will remove them if you turn them anti clockwise.

14

Never assume you have been seen

15

I think one of the threads is reverse on most mirror stalks.

And you can remove them with sufficient force in the wrong direction, it just complicates putting them back on again.

16

waterproof glovers over sleeves result in wet hands

17

lol that’s a good one, luckily I was told this when I was learning…

18

never trust a cager to get anything right.

19

Never get involved in a land war in Russia…

Apparently that’s a real rule written down somewhere and is really good advice too… hey I didn’t work that out, its just a family rule we’ve had since the 1700’s… : )