Many of us make our way to work thinking of a new amorous relationship - how exciting would that be? These feelings are natural - people of the opposite sex that we see in our everyday lives may seem to be an attractive proposition but what happens when you’re already married? Do these feelings evaporate?
No they don’t - but what we do about them is usually a different story. Read what Ingrid Tarrant has to say on this issue because it’s WELL WORTH a perusal::
I would say to Chris, ‘Look things aren’t right, is there anybody else?’ and he’d say, ‘Oh don’t be so silly.’ So I trusted him more than my own instincts.
But I’m a need-to-know person. It was a huge decision to put a private detective on him. I respect people’s privacy hugely and I thought, ‘God this is absolutely horrible.’
But I had to do it. I had to be certain in my own mind. Prior to hiring the detective, I had almost conclusive evidence, but it was in case he wriggled out of what information I did have.
When I first found out I was devastated. He was the love of my life.
I shook. It was physical. I felt I was going to have a heart attack. My heart felt torn apart, physically as well as emotionally. I was literally broken-hearted and shocked.
I confirmed to Chris that I knew he was lying when I produced the evidence.
He lied up to the last minute, and I said: ‘You are lying and I know,’ and gave him one shred of the evidence that was absolutely conclusive.
What was worst was the deceit. Like the times he said he was going to the house or he was going fishing and I now know he was going to see her.
He lied to us all.
He jeopardised everything, but he did so believing that, because he knows so many other people who have played around and their marriages are still intact, ‘their wives took them back so she’ll take me back.’
But I can’t forgive. I’ve questioned myself a million times and I can’t. I thought I was going mad, and he was telling me that he would phone a psychiatrist.
You don’t do that to anybody - so that is the unforgivable aspect of the whole thing.
If he had told me the truth then I could have handled it because then I would have believed he was capable of telling the truth. Then you can start from scratch.
I got Chris to tell the children in the end. I just thought he has got to see what he has done.
It wasn’t a punishment as such, but I don’t think to this day that he really thinks it was that bad because others do it.
It has been hard to take on board that his affair didn’t mean anything. As one of the children said: ‘If she didn’t mean anything then we must have meant even less.’
That makes sense to me.
I gather it didn’t mean anything to her either and it was just sex. She was flattered. She couldn’t believe such a famous person was interested in ‘little old me’.
He says he was being a bloke, but all blokes aren’t like that. Why wasn’t he one of the good blokes?
I think it’s pretty damaging to his career. There seems to be a backlash. The public don’t know me but it’s almost like they’re supporting me whole-heartedly.
They’re feeling my pain. They’re feeling my heartbreak.
He’s always come across that he loves his family. He gave up Capital Radio to spend more time with his family.
Well we now know it was to spend more time with her. He used all that extra time not to be with us but to be with her.
It’s hypocrisy and nobody likes a hypocrite. That’s damaged him as well.
I would like to be able to meet up with Chris again in the future, for the children as much as for the years that we had together.
At the moment, though, I don’t want to see him, I can’t bear to hear his voice. It will take a lot longer for me to see him because all I would see are lying eyes.
I saw a picture of him in the paper the other day and the first thing I looked at were the eyes and I thought: ‘You liar!’.
…have you ever two-timed?
it may be a bit of a sticky subject though!
ok, anyone want to tell us about anything!
