Harlesden IS Hell

Ladies and gentlemen,
I’m still shaking from teh adrenaline.
This morning, Harlseden High Street. Tooling along, when this bloke runs out from the side tfo two cars staring straight at me, AND JUST STOPS in the middle of the road. Right in front of me. I stopped with literally inches to spare!

I was nearly sick with the adrenaline buzz I got.

I pulled over cos I wanted to tell him exactly what I thought of his stupidity, that’s when I twigged. It turns out this guy is severely disturbed. He’s pulling his trousers off and leaping over cars. So I’m thinking right…give plod a call and get him down to take this guy somewhere safe and stop him running headlong at bikes.

Anyway, they get there pretty quick right, but get this. 3 BIG coppers leap out of this screaming wailing blue flashing van. They don’t stop to talkto anyone cos they’ve seen naked mentalist ont op of someonne’s car already, but as one of them goes past me he shouts, “Has this guy got mental issues?”

Has this guy got mental issues?

I’m not a psychiatrist right…but let’s look at the evidence here?

  1. Member of public calls police to say someone has just thrown themsleves into moving traffic int he hope of being hit.
  2. Said someone is currently standing NAKED at 7am on Horlesden High Streeet, on the roof of a random plumbers van screaming.
  3. What else do you really need to know!

Maybe copper boy was covering his bases.

“Your honour, I asked said member of poublic whether in his opinion, said someone was suffering from mental issues, to whit his reply was, **** me, how should I know? Armed with this information I proceeded to rugby tackle him onto the concrete anbd then force him into the back of our van.”

Anyway, just wanted to say a big thanks to Caroline my bike instructor from Metropolis…my emergency stop just saved two people’s lives. It was wet and I never even locked up! Advanced Motorists my arse! I’m the baddest mother funkster on two wheels!

Nice one T-1-K, good to know the training pays off. I, on the other hand, had a nice, quick, uneventful whizz into work, mostly because there were NO BLOODY SCOOTERS TRYING TO KILL ME!!! Apparently if they come out in the rain their city suits don’t protect them from the weeather like they would in a crash.

Thanks for that, I’m OK now.

There’s quite a few loonies out there. Most of them seem to be in charge of cars though! Good work Toby.

Good to hear that you ok and you did what you have to do, a proper emergency stop extremely difficult on wet road surface. It’s a simple proof than you’re well trained rider . God save us from crazyness on the roads.

Glad you are OK, just as well it was a bloke naked on cars, what would’ve happened if it was a pretty girl? You and the police would still be there?

Loads of nutters out there this morning, going down Leabridge Road, filtering past traffic, I wondered why the lorry in front had ground to a halt whilst traffic ahead of him was moving. Slowed down, looked around his front and discovered this woman was walking our direction, never had a look behind her (where traffic was coming from) and started crossing the other half of the road. So relieved I was going slow as the road was so bloody wet.

I agree with the sentiment that Harlesden is hell, I used to have a regular run around there when spatching. Willesden, Harlesden, Wembley, it’s all ****ed, the only solution is a thermo-nuclear device detonated 500 metres above the offending area.

Glad to hear you’re ok, well done for stopping so well in these conditions and for calling for assistance…hope the guy is ok too he’s clearly not well

I live in Neasden what you trying to say hmmm


OK, let’s start with Harlesden NOT Neasden.
Then we move onto Totally insane people trying to kill themselves by running in front of me.
Next we move onto the traffic jam worth of IDIOT LOCALS who sat behind me BEEPING for me to get out of the way cos I was stopped in the middle of the road, whilst an insane human being threw himself at my bike.
Then we have the delightfully dedicated but border line psychotic police force that rugby tackled a naked guy, rather than trying to calm the situation down.
Then we have the scumbags that try and break into our office at least 3 times a week.
Next add in the COMPLETE LACK of any decent food round here (cept for the jerk chicken but man can’t live on jerk chicken alone EVERY day, where’s the variety)
Then there’s the unhealthy population of Irish people who insist on a cigarette with everything.
Then as a motorbiker there’s the total idiots who never ever ever indicate, nor even use their mirrors and consequently nearly knock me off on a daily basis. Because of these totally inconsiderate illegitimate morons, my average speed in Harlseden goes down by about 15 mph. I practically walk the bike through here its that dangerous.

Harlesden IS HELL

Even Brixton is safer on the roads than round here.

Too true mate. London has got some really hellish bits to it. Not sure if Manchester is much better though

Toby-1 when I said “what are you trying to say” I was having a lil joke with itsthemechanic post as he wanted to blow me up

Spent 20 years there 18 years ago

Sorry bloke. Not havin a go at you, ,but I’ve been feeling this way bought round here for ages. Just took the opportunity to get it off my chest. No offence intended and sorry if you took it that way.

Actually I think we should all come up with a map of bike-friendly and bike-dangerous areas in london. We can post it on the front of the site for anyone visiting the big smoke. Currently for me there’s a big Yellow and Black striped patch with an “Enter here at your own peril” logo on it where Harlseden used to be on the map…anyone else?

Was he Ginger ?

I have no problem with Harlesden, I just dont go there.

Nah but ginger woul dhave sorted him out for me.
The Ginger outrider on ride outs is legendary!

he probably didnt have time to lok to see if it was me