Happy St Patrick's Day

Off-topic
1

Two men were sitting next to each other at a bar. After awhile, one guy looks at the other and says, ‘I can’t help but think, from listening to you, that you’re from Ireland .’

The other guy responds proudly, ‘Yes, that I am!’

The first guy says, ‘So am I! And where about from Ireland might you be’?

The other guy answers, ‘I’m from Dublin , I am.’

The first guy responds, ‘So am I!’

'Sure and begorra. And what street did you live on in Dublin ?

The other guy says, ‘A lovely little area it was. I lived on McCleary Street in the old central part of town.’

The first guy says, ‘Faith and it’s a small world. So did I! So did I!
And to what school would you have been going’?

The other guy answers, ‘Well now, I went to St. Mary’s, of course.’

The first guy gets really excited and says, ‘And so did I. Tell me, what year did you graduate’?

The other guy answers, ‘Well, now, let’s see. I graduated in 1964.’

The first guy exclaims, ‘The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same bar tonight. Can you believe it? I graduated from St. Mary’s in 1964 my own self!’

About this time, Vicky walks into the bar, sits down and orders a beer.

Brian, the bartender, walks over to Vicky, shaking his head and mutters, ‘It’s going to be a long night tonight.’

Vicky asks, ‘Why do you say that, Brian’?

‘The Murphy twins are pissed again.’

2

Paddy was tidying his daughter’s bedroom when he found a packet of condoms.

“Jesus!”, he thought, “me own daughter and I never knew she had a willy.”

3

Paddys in bed with his wife at 2 oclock in the morning when the phone rings. Paddy anwers it and says fk off ring the effin coastguard. Wife says who was that Paddy says dunno some ct wanting to know if the coast was clear

4

I like this lad’s way of thinking :slight_smile:

Patrick walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and
sits in the corner of the room, drinking a sip out of each pint in turn.
When he had finished all three, he went back to the bar and ordered
three more.

The barman says, “You know a pint goes flat soon after I pull it …
your pint would taste better if you bought one at a time.”

Patrick replies, “Well now, I have two brodders, one is in America and
de odder in Australia and here I am in Dublin. When we all left home, we
promised dat we’d drink dis way to remember de days we all drank
togedder.”

The barman admits that this is a nice custom and says no more.

Patrick becomes a regular customer and always drinks the same way …
ordering three pints and drinking a sip out of each in turn, until they
are finished. One day, he comes in and orders just two pints. All the
other regulars in the bar notice and fall silent.

When he goes back to the bar for the second round, the barman says, “I
don’t want to intrude on your grief but I wanted to offer my condolences
on your great loss.”

Patrick looks confused for a moment, then the penny drops and he starts
to laugh, “Oh no,” he says, "Bejesus, everyone is fine! Tis me … I’m
off it for lent!

Lá Fhéile Pádraig shona daoibh to those who understand that, Happy St Patrick’s Day to everyone else! :smiley:

5

‘‘Go raibh maith agat !’’

don’t bother ringing the workshop tomorrow morning we may be a little late opening ! :D:D:D

6

Now dont get me wrong, I have Irish Blood, but this country annoys the hell outta me for not celebrating our very own St Georges day?!?! WTF is all the about? So we dont offend the “minorities”? I’m a minority now days because I’m English, proud & not afraid to speak my mind! We celebrate St Paddys day, Devali, Ramadan, Chinese New year but the mere Englishman is forbidden from celebrating our very St George! What a load of old tod!

Controversial I know! Dont shoot me its only my opinion :smiley:

7

Oh the humour…be still my aching sides.

8

why dont you,i do

9

well i celebrate both!

irish/english blood…with a bit of german:D

Happy St Patricks day to all with irish bloodline…:slight_smile:

10

I could not agree anymore…

as for celebrating our own days, roll on 12th JULY!!!woohoooooo

After all, the Irish have turned Saint Patricks day into Irish day, which it was nothing to do with in the first place, so i feel your pain

soo, forgeting green day today, i cant wait for orange day :w00t::w00t::w00t::w00t::w00t:

and if anyone knows the tune, lets sing it together…

“It was old and it was beauifull, and the colours they were fine…”:w00t:

11

dont you bloody start:D

12

If it’s any consolation St. Patrick was of Roman blood and born in England,so today we’re celebrating the life of an English born Italian :smiley:

13

Seems like just an excuse for a pissup really, O’Neills in Carnaby st was packed from lunchtime, guess the warm weather helped. Gotta admit it does amaze me how many English people celebrate St Pats day and probably don’t even know when St Georges day is :smiley:

14

Apparently there were never any snakes in Ireland anyway due to to geoclimatic conditions. So what else was St Patrick supposed to have done?

15

I think it would be fun to re introduce snakes to Ireland just to see what happens.

16

  1. They never lived there anyway

  2. They would freeze their shiny asses off!

But you’re right, it might be fun:D

17

I think you’ll find he was Welsh.

18

About half way down

http://www.bbc.co.uk/wales/religion/sites/timeline/pages/religion_in_wales_3.shtml