Having done the figures, it’s actually cheaper for me to just give things away, rather than be fleeced by strangers, plus cuts out the middle men, Ebay, paypal and the police (no offence Rusty, your colleagues in Kensington were very helpful). Collect any of the following from SW7. Beer (either on or off site at a Pub), half cans of WD40 and lasagne all graciously accepted.
Item 1: Mitsubishi Roof bars which entitle you to tax exemption.
These came off a 95 Space wagon so will probably fit a Showgun. In order to claim your tax exemption you’ll need a suitable vehicle and a caravan. Finally fit these two bars to the roof and kiss your tax woes goodbye. If they don’t fit your vehicle they can be used to assault people.
Item 2: Sidi and Mr Men Sticker Kit, plus “Think Bike” sticker
Look like an absolute clown with these plastered all over your bike. Alternatively use them to cover up crash damage and sell your bike on.
Item 3: Edimax PCI Wireless Card
Slam this into an old PC and install it in your shed to pass away the lonely evenings, much like Quagmire:
Item 4: (Are we already up to 4). Microsoft Natural Keyboard Pro
If you are old and you like old things then this could be for you. It has about as much charm as my old CB500. Comes with the users manual if you don’t know how to use a Keyboard.
Item 5: Dell OEM Keyboard
I always used the Natural Keyboard so this one is pretty much unused. These are actually pretty good and no the f****** watch in the picture is not included.
Item 6: Oxford Concise Dictionary 2000.
If your keen for your kids to see what books are before there are none left then this is a must have. Only lightly used. It’s from the early 00s so doesn’t contain words like “unfriend,” or “Social Network.” Plus “tweet” doesn’t make any references to twitter (sh1tter).
Please do not contact me if you are a criminal or a conman. I’m not interested. Anyone else PM and we’ll work something out.
