- At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a
hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
-
Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.
-
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries
With that.
-
Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “IN”.
-
Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten
Over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
-
In the memo field of all your checks, write “for smuggling diamonds”.
-
Finish all your sentences with “in accordance with the prophecy”.
-
Don’t use any punctuation.
-
As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
-
Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat - with a serious face.
-
Specify that your drive-through order is “to go”.
-
Sing along at the opera.
-
Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds
All day at work.
-
Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.
-
Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their
Party because you’re not in the mood.
-
Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.
-
When the money comes out the ATM, scream “I won! I won!”
-
When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot
yelling, “run for your lives, they’re loose!!”
- Tell your children over dinner "due to the economy, we are going to
have to let one of you go."
- And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity . . . e-mail
this
