Dick of the day (Monday)

Recntly, I’ve had to commute every day on the moto, so as a treat and because it’s ready and the KTM needs some maintenance, I’ve been using my Monster as a daily ride. It’s a bit heavy on fuel, being the 998 variety, but it’s a lot of fun!

So, last night in Wandsworth, a dick in a Ford Ka (I think) ran a light very late and took up position behind a pedal cycle in maybe the 2nd lane of four. Our lights went green, so off we go. I was in the 3rd lane, when the idiot decides to swerve into my lane without looking - massive braking and I’m virtually sitting on the tank. I didn’t quite avoid him tho and tapped the back of his car with my left 'bar. This sent the bike into the mother of all slappers - I swear the back wheel was in the air and the bars were going left and right, swerving to within a foot of the floor and I’m just trying to hang on and keep it approximately upright. Eventually, since the speed wasn’t too high, I rammed my foot onto the floor to push the front up and got it back together.

I’m sure this was over in a couple of seconds but it felt like a VERY long time.

Look out for a shitty little car with a massive dent in the rear bumper that was caused by me, but not by my bars.

watch the lane-switchers…
easy to say, harder to do…
my only defense mechanism is to assess each car as I spot it:
Car type, age, condition
Driver age, sex, driving position, race (yes potentially a racist statement, but I don’t care cos this has saved my life quite a few times, sorry)
Then lane position following lanes or crossing without indication…
Then after all that they still surprise you…

Sounds like an awesome save, and unfortunately it makes my ordeal sound quite naff… left home, got on bike, kick stand up, realised I’d forgotten something, leant bike over thinking stand was down essentially starting to drop on purpose… gut wrenching heave and brace and I got her back up… (I’m harder than I thought), proud moment all round to cover the shame, but still compared to your efforts, a bit naff, like I said. ho hum

crikey!!! glad you kept it upright. Did you chase for a revenge attack or just take a breather and thank god your bike wasn’t damaged?

there is some right nobbers about

sometimes you can see it coming, sometimes not, shame we cant cause more damage to their car really, that would teach em to look :slight_smile:

Don’t go for the mirrors no matter how easy a target they are, that can come back and bite… (caught and ashamed, paid the price too)

holy sheep jerry! glad youre saved it! did the d1ck not stop after you fell into him?

Good save and glad you’re ok, bike second.

I had one this morning, too. Lights had just changed to green when approaching Aldwych (coming south from Kingsway) and I’m following through, not slowly but not breaking any land speed records, when a box van swings from the left lane (heading towards the strand) right over to the right to go round the one way heading towards Traf Sq. I slammed the anchors on and locked up - worse was that the back end came out and nearly bit me hard. managed to keep upright though…serious borwn pant moment mind.

I know the reason I locked up hard was owing to me still cornering when hitting the brakes (hard). Rookie error but to be honest that’s all I could do to avoid being wiped out.

Don’t worry JerryXT, your assailant has been tracked down and dealt with . . . :hehe:

Must be something about Ford drivers.
Standing on the right lane on Holloway Road monday morning, when I suddenly get bumped forward.
Turn around to look and see a blue Ford right on top of me :blink:

Person waved apologetically, so let him off (but noted the licence plate). Checked later and there was nothing but a small mark on me number plate.
His front bumper however was skew, and it appeared his bonnet wasn’t sitting correctly either, but that may be just appearance due to the skew front bumper.

This is awsome - cannot stop crying with laughter!!! Am I ill? :hehe:

Thank god someone on here appreciates quality 1970’s British film making . . . :smiley:

I hate Addison Lee!

I give their black Mini Vans a widey! - their like killer whales on the road!

Have they got some sort of points system going on in the office or somthing - see how many bikers you can off!

Been chased down the street through Hackney following a very reserved filtering more than once now!



Lamb Of God…

On a serious note glad you are okay. The wandsworth one way can be fun but add traffic and its not. :frowning:

Thanks for all the kind comments guys and for the funny clip :smiley:

I think my foot slipped off the peg as I went past the back of the ‘car’ and banged his bumper. But no harm done - I was wearing my Daytonas!

NinjaJunkie (25/05/2011)

Don’t worry JerryXT, your assailant has been tracked down and dealt with . . . :hehe:[/q

Did’nt the guy in this clip do Confessions of a Window Cleaner ? :wink:

mrs minx (27/05/2011)

Yeah - it’s Robin Asquith - Britains answer to John Holmes . . . :hehe:

Today’s Dick of the Day was the Arriva bus driver along Green Lanes who - moved out of a bus stop near lights while I was stopped and got way too close to me, a bit of a yell came out; but then he swerved all over the road through both the bus lane and the lane for regular traffic making it almost impossible to pass, then when I could / did pass he would belt past me in the other lane, and change into my lane to sit in front again.

TinyPenisMan in a bus, I’m riding a 125, I pose no threat to you. Dickwad.

Other than that, it was a lovely night out tonight.

a couple of times when i’ve had a near miss due to lack of indicators, i’ve had fun pulling up along side when they next stop, tap on the window and ask if the car is still under warranty 'cause their indicators don’t seem to be working :smiley:

funny, I had something similar on the way back home. A dick on his monster was hogging the nice spots on the way back. So I had to weave around him past other cars only for him to speed up when he say that I was about to pass to get in front of me. The dick kept on doing it, me on a 125 and him on a monster.

all the twats that seem to be asleep in either the middle or outside lane of the motorway and i presume they have forgotton they’d finished overtaking a few miles back:D…do they not wonder why the inside lanes are soooo empty:w00t: i keep thinking i’m riding in europe or something?!? then i realise i’m not when i bounce over a pot hole

rant over:cool: