Buy house or keep friendship

Very weird situation at the moment.

We are looking to move house (stay local) and have sold ours.

We are seeing a property on Thursday we really like and unless there is serious issues want to put an offer down.

Unfortunately a good friend of ours is also selling (hasn’t sold yet but will definitely have offers by Saturday) and is also very interested in the same house…

Not your usual situation and we don’t really want to get into a bidding war with our friends.

So it’s house or friends


are they aware of this too?

Yep they know we are viewing.
My thinking is to tell them we really like it and we a willing to go up to X* for it.And would rather not go into a bidding war with them

*They have X+10%

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I suggest you stay where you are and buy another bike. you’ll feel much better about the whole thing.


Have a business like conversation with them and agree that one of you will pursue it, not both. Be quick though as I’ve heard things are moving fast at the moment. Bear in mind that if the vendor or agent sees fit neither of you may be selected as suitable to proceed, regardless of offer.

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I’m not entirely sure how it works but as I understand it, you put in an offer, then other person can accept / decline but no new viewibga. But not sure if they still honour existing (i.e. booked) viewings

When I was looking and other places had a serious offer being considered, I wasn’t offered viewings.

Here it is simple rules. Who sees first buys… on top, you sold first.

I wouldn’t hide you made offer but wouldn’t say how much.

Ultimately… If they are friends they will stay friends.

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Don’t overthink it… Do what you would have done if friends weren’t part of equation…

If they are part of it just don’t try to hide anything

You can’t predict whether they will put an offer on Saturday…

You’re trying to predict future


Could be worse, could be family… Happened between two aunts & uncles of mine, yep same side, brother and sister! Properly bust up the family, my one aunt is pretty much black sheeped and ostracized after bidding against my uncle . :frowning:

Tbh good mates (or family) wouldn’t bid against you if they found out you were already going for it. Guess it depends which of you found it first.

Make your bid and see what happens. If they are going to fall out with you over this this then are they really friends?

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So come on the market today so both saw it today, and both arranged viewings for the same day

Speak to them. You can buy a house and keep the friendship. Plenty more houses out there.

Just bear in mind you can speak, not agree and fall out. Then someone outbids you both.

Then you have no house and no friendship…

Just be honest, don’t try to predict, don’t try to anticipate what each person You don’t know their needs and likes fully.

Just don’t lie

Who’s up for a rideout to Pan’s friends house? :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

You mean the new house so no-one bids on it!

I think you’ll find we’re all pretty reserved here…

As I understand it you have already sold, they are about to sell. There is a big difference.
Put in your offer then let the seller decide.
They may look at who has a chain etc.
May also depend if they have found something they don’t want to lose.

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That’s a good point you never know who the seller will sell to.

Someone we know had their offer on a flat rejected not because the money was too small, but because they wanted to sell to a young first time buyer

yep we decided that we will go for it, and any other house we really like. and they should do the same thing.
H-day is tomorrow!


I thought it was 6th of June but ok…

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They’re already aware you were interested it’s not as if you “stole their house”. You aren’t part of a chain and are more likely to get it but if someone you know has already expressed interest in it I’m sure it’s got many interested parties in it too.

There is no such thing as the singular ideal house, they’ll find another and so will you if you don’t win it.

I wouldn’t expect my friends to forgo a house just because I wanted it, would make me feel a bit awkward. I certainly wouldn’t want to be friends with someone that would expect that of me either.

I’d tell them you’ve put a bid on it though otherwise it does seem a bit shady. If they then go and put a bid on that they wouldn’t have otherwise put then they’re idiots and are just trying to compete with you. Unfortunately since joining adulthood I’ve discovered some friends do genuinely believe that life is a competition, I think that’s more hassle than it’s worth tbh