Got my mates wedding on Friday & my speech is pretty much sorted but Im trying to fit in some funny stuff about him being put in a cell a couple of times - once for being drunk & pssing up an alley and the other for being reported by a cyclist for GBH (which hadnt happened) Cyclist was just pssed off that my mate had accidentally cut him up on his scooter but anyway…
Can anyone think of a funny couple of lines I could put this into without making sound like some total yob!
Think your desciption has done that already :w00t:
can’t help ya with funny stuff cos i’m old and miserable
Just be careful, my best mate’s missus hasn’t quite forgiven me yet. All I said was, “…and here’s a telegram for Dave from the Golden Triangle Massage Parlour. Just says ‘Why you marry white girl?’…”
PSML 
At my mates wedding I told the tale about when he got beaten up by Morrocan hookers in Barcelona, went down quite well and was not too sugarcoated…just go with it.
something along the lines of
'we know he is cut for marriage as he has had two test runs with the ol ‘ball n chain’??
might not go down too well with the newly wife! 
Don’t know which is funnier, what you said or the lack of forgiveness.
