best comeback line ever

Best Come Back Line… Ever
This was apparently in the Washington Post.

Police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male resident of Dacula, GA, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday. Lawrence will be charged with lewd and lascivious behaviour, public indecency, and public intoxication at the Gwinnett County courthouse on Monday.

The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch he decided to stop. “You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles. At least I thought there wasn’t,” he stated in a phone interview. Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged “need.” “Guess I was really into it, you know?” he commented with evident embarrassment.

In the process, Lawrence apparently failed to notice a Gwinnett County police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until Officer Jane Taylor approached him. “That was an unusual situation, that’s for sure,” said Officer Taylor. " I walked up to Lawrence and he was just… pumping away at this pumpkin." Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence. "I just went up and said, ‘Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you’re having sex with a pumpkin?’ He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then looked me straight in the face and said, "A pumpkin?

F**k me, is it midnight already?

A goodun

No, the best comeback line I ever heard was in the hairdresser’s when the guy in the chair next to me asked for a shampoo, cut and blowjob. He promptly went bright red and wasn’t helped when the whole place collapsed in hysterics as the young lady he was talking to replied, “Well, make your mind up, I’ll have to adjust the chair.”