For a small consideration (you pay the fuel and ferry) and I could round up a couple of responsible (CRB checked) motorcyclists and we could take your family pillion. You know they want to 
and no mention of previous holidays guaranteed!
Would be via wine regions so plenty of stops. Need to test waters to see if a Bodensee tour could be accommodated.
Someone will have to take the au pair on the back to act as translator.
I’ll take the au pair
God bless eBay
We’ll still need the au pair as official tour party translator saving on all those awkward pauses to flick pages. The job of pillioning the translator goes to Mr J with his past experience in dealing with the girly luggage.
No, Changy can take the au-pair, they come with too much baggage for me. Changy also has intimate knowledge of the area and the peccadillos of wenches.
Plus, Mrs J won’t let me go without her 