Asking girls out

Why are some people so good at it, when others are equally crap at it? Discuss…

I’m shy.

It could be something to do with asking the more receptive target audience

…or put it another way, giving some thought as to what the girl in question might like to be invited to go out to …


Confidence for me. When I’m feeling down (e.g. job hunting whilst not working) I felt awful. Not just on the dating side of things. When I’ve got the world in my arms and I’m not looking, the best things happen. Stable job, happy at work, some R&R outside of work, some time with bikey and seeing friends semi regularly puts me in an extremely positive state of mind. Couple that with feeling good by wearing some nice clothes. Some creative and fun ideas always come to mind for date ideas.

Hey Junglizt1210 - When you’re feeling great, let’s meet for drinks and pick up girls. Hopefully some of that extravagant confidence will rub off on me.

I guess this isn’t so much about success rates but more about how some guys seem to just go up to a girl and ask them out, whereas other, like myself and seemingly Aceman, lack any sort of confidence when it comes to things like that

Go read the book The Game, then you’ll understand. then knowing what of you I do, you’ll disregard all of it. 

Go read the book The Game, then you'll understand. then knowing what of you I do, you'll disregard all of it.  me_groovy
Having read a quick summary, you're probably right

But are these bullshitters getting quality or just going for quantity and one-nighters???

depends how you define quality. Hot, yes. But will they want to go out for a burger or be happy about you going off on the bike all weekend? no. 

also worthy of note when discussing how hot a girl is, I’m a full subscriber to this: 

Haha Barney Stinson, the supreme example of self-confidence

Club, wallop, success

Tromboman - I didn’t say I lacked confidence, I said I was shy. I’m shy of fighting too.

Wouldn’t you say that being shy is due to a lack of confidence in certain situations? Depends on the use of the word shy, work-shy etc… isn’t a confidence thing obviously. In some situations I’m supremely  confident, I’ve stood up and played a solo in front of several hundred people, but when it comes to asking a girl out my confidence completely deserts me.

I actually like having great friendships with girls. If that progresses into a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, that’s terrific. But I don’t go for one night stands, and am shy of being thought of just wanting a quick fling.

I’m very much the same, I have a few very close female friends who I have trouble talking to about everything and anything but making that step into the unknown with someone who isn’t necessarily within my circle of friends is something I have always struggled with.

They are just people.

I think maybe the problem is some guys overthink it and put too much expectation on what could happen.

The overthinking thing is a problem I have, a mate of mine calls it paralysis by analysis