The drunken family of dole-scrounging chavs that live 4 houses down are just a riot a minute of drunken stupidity…
There’s the on-going row about whose hair cut is cheaper… (NO ONE is gonna win that one)…they all look like leprosy victims who cut their hair with a lighter and a can of hair spray!
The karaoke championship with Drum n’ Base… THERE ARE NO LYRICS… its brilliant!
And the who can **** off the really nasty pet pitbull the fastest… so far the bloke who stubbed the cigarette out on it is in the lead, but he’s out of the running, cos the dog won that match… The bloke cried like a baby whilst the paramedics tried to reattach his fingers with gaffer tape until they could get him to the hospital…
I’m setting up video, and a live internet link, but for the hardcore, I’m also starting a sweep stake to go along with it… people can call in and nominate which one I tazer first, just to see if it makes them smarter or just drunker!
Keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer.
I’m gonna go round wearing my poshest togs, holding an empty Martini glass, and ask them if they have any ice to spare!!!
Fingers crossed, I’ll either come away with a black eye, or with a new best mate called Two-Fingers Tel and his Psycho Rock Solid Pitbull, Tyson (his real name I assure you)
One of them just suggested to his mate that he tries to hold one of those paraffin barbecue fire lighters in his mouth for as long as possible… WHILST HIS MATE SPITS A BURNING SAMBUCA AT IT!
You’ve got to hand it to the mentally challenged little thug, as far as “maiming your mates” goes… that’s very creative!
I’ll be honest, I don’t think its a go-er, but if I buy them another case of white spirit and cat’s wee, we might be in for a chance at seeing how long he can last…
