everyone,…
when someone close to (ie; partner) is going through your mobile phone text messages when your not with your phone, would you allow this?. is this a matter of personal privacy, or downright invasion of privacy?.
:ermm:
when confronted, they deny that it wasn’t the messages they were looking through, but playing the phone’s games. after some discussion, they admit yes, they were going through the text messages.
how do you feel about this?.
many thanks.
Its catch 22 - if you have nothing to hide then you wouldn’t be bothered (in the other persons mind) - but if you really don’t want them going through your phone (they think you have something to hide anyway)
But i think it is an invasion of privacy - if they want to see your text’s they should have the ball’s to ask to see them (lack of trust if they just read them without you seeing)
I must agree with the above… if you have nothing to hide you wouldnt feel it was an invasion…
Very very very very very pissed off. Not sure if thats the answer you are wanting to hear but what can i say. MY STUFF IS MY STUFF!! 
HAppened to me once and we had a less than civilised discussion about it - he wanted me to go through his phone to make himself feel better - I told him it wasnt necessary coz i trusted him and was infact, no longer interested in what he got up to in his own time 
Take a deep breath thoguh and wprk out if its worth the row…
It aint the action of going through the phone thats the issue - its the blatent sign of mistrust that it gives out. Why not just ask to see the phone if you aint trying to catch someone out and why lie about it when youre caught?? Grrrrrrr
I have to agree with ya Alice. If there is any doubt then rather than checking underhandedly, the person should ask outright and give that person the chance to come clean, if they have anything to come clean about.Whether I would have something to hide or not, I would be pissed at the intrusion. I could afterall have been planning a surprise for her in doors which she would ruin just because she couldnt help but look through my phone.
yes i would be very upset if this happened to me!, sometimes peeps do leave their fones out and about and people think its their given right to go through texts, well it aint!
How very dare they,what a f**kin liberty:angry:
My girlfriend always asks to read my messages and Ive always allowed her. Sometimes she see’s messages she doesen’t like but thet’s her problem - not mine. Although she knows better to dive down my phone without asking first.
When we split up for a period I went down her phone :(. The trouble is there were texts from certain people that I weren’t happy about but she doesent save her sent messages so it was a bit hard to make sense of which made it worse in a way.
I guess its down to the individual. Me, I would be a bit miffed to say the least. If you would do it to them then not a big deal, however if you wouldn’t ever do it then its out of order. Not that helpful I know, but everyone is going to differ on it 
I think I’d be asking myself, why she would want to go through my phone? Why is she feeling insecure?
It would definitely **** me off and would be enough for me to call it a day if it wasn’t really a long term kind of thing, but I’d try and look at my own recent behaviour before doing anthing rash. It may have come about because I’d been working away from home, my movements had been erratic, I was often not contactable etc. This doesn’t excuse the behaviour (especially if you’ve done nothing wrong), but may be a way to understand it.
Saying all that, if she is one of those neurotic types that has trust issues, she needs pro (counsellor) help…She’ll say sorry, but it will manifest itself again and again…
If she’s worth it, stick around and help (but realise it may take years and may never be fully fixed)…Otherwise move on.
I’m with Afro. I’d be really pissed off, and it’s verging on the unforgivable, but the only real forgivable excuse is if they’re a bit imbalanced (which could just be something temporary). After all, in their eyes, perhaps their partner has done something to make them feel that there’s something else going on.
It’s never black and white in relationships, really, is it?
yep try and find out first before you use the back of the hand 
keep your pimp hand strong
My misses would never dare do that to me, if she did she would be shocked with the picture Westie sent me.
If a girlfriend went through my messages without asking I would want to know why but as I have nothing to hide I wouldn’t really be bothered. I’ve never gone through a girlfriends phone and I’m not about to start. If I thought there was a problem then I would ask outright and have other proof. If I was asked if she could go through my messages she would be welcome but I don’t believe that she would and neither did my ex, but should she want to the question still applies as to why, after all unless you’re up to something most of it will be banter with mates and work and if you’re up to something then she’s on to you anyway. This works in both directions.
Of course they might just be nosy and that ‘would’ irritate me.
Why what you been upto Darryl???;)
you should have 2 phones if your gonna get upto naughty things,1 that she don’t know about!
Mmmm the first thing that sprung to mind for me was TRUST isn’t that the vital statistic for a good relationship! I would never go through a partners phone like i said lack of trust.
Been thinking on this, and to be honest I don’t know how I would feel. I think that I would be more annoyed by the fact that you ask and it was denied only to be recanted later.
Denying it and then finally admitting to it would cause my blood to boil.
I certainly agree to what most people have said, if she was interested she should have asked. If you said no then it would appear that there was something to hide. But if she had found something that she didn’t like then what do you do?
Something of a catch 22 situation.
Don’t envy you at all. My advice, i’ll be honest I have really no idea. Think the first to find out is why? And then take it from there.
partial information is a recipe for disaster…texts can appear to be many things especially if you dont read the whole series.
I read one of my ex wifes texts, but I had a lot of reason to believe she was seeing someone else…she was…we were split up within the month. Not sure the text helped in the end…but I suggest that if you are giving her the wrong signals you need to talk to her…if she is just an insecure lady looking to find assurances of your love because you are a cold emotionally stunted child within a mans body then communicate with her and all may be resolved…
Still annoying though…
what of me with a turkey baster in my hand?!:P, you can bloody talk!
