A disgrace to our fraternity


I had a bit a of a to-do yesterday, which concluded with delightful irony.

E Dulwich Rd, between Goose Green and Peckham Rye, on the scooter, I cruised up to a red light on the right of traffic, the light turned green, I zipped through. A second later I felt a rush of slipstream as a big grubby honda blasted by on my right, inches from my indicators.

So at the next (red) light I pull up alongside and ask whether that was intentional, why, and whether he appreciates that if so, it was ******* stupid: the response was unexpected - a tirade of homophobia directed at me and the (admittedly flaming) scooter.

Enough of this you twat, methinks, so I’m off the scooter, in his face, with his keys in my hand, just in case perchance he may consider flight. Sitting bestride his mouldering behemoth, unaware of the sudden imbalance of power, he persisted in his rant, suggesting that he was entirely within his rights to buzz me as (a) I cut him off (b) the scooter “reeks of homosexual” and © I must therefore be a “******* queer”, so deserving of his abuse. I was tempted at this point to toss his keys into the park and flip him off his bike, but no, calm and collected, I reminded him that his was no show-winner, and that he had, despite his justifications, behaved in a disgraceful manner unbecoming of the fraternity of bikers.

But there’s more, and it gets better.

Off I teeter on the fag-mobile, cruising sedately down Peckham Rye Rd, Mister Rabies following oh so closely behind. Now there’s a zebra crossing by the park, and pedestrians often lurk there, waiting to surprise us, and such was the sweet opportunity that presented itself. Levers to the bars, the little scoot stopped an inch from the crossing - sadly, the same could not be said for my unwelcome companion - he clipped my bars painfully, snapping off his mirror, which was left dangling in the breeze of his curses.

“oh, now that’s a tragedy” I offered.
“I can fix it in a second” came the brusk reply
“I’m sure you’ve had plenty of practice fixing it, the way you ride”, then off I zipped on surge of gay vindication. What ironic justice.

My wife, whose scooter was so maligned, was amused. Still, I can’t wait to get my seriously masculine Beemer back on the road.

did this happen to you? (re italics)

can we please have a daily post like this:P

What shade of ‘gay’ is the scooter? :hehe:

Preferably with the samne protagonists upping the ante each time. Does anyone remember ‘Wacky Races’…hahaha :slight_smile:

Oh yes, this happened to me all right.

I just rather like italics. I hope that doesn’t signify anything, er, odd.

And I’m too busy enjoying the freedom of two wheels to let a knucle-dragging Neanderthal upset my day.

It’s a laughably tasteless cherry-red Chinese copy of the Mojito, by the way, hysterical to those with a sense of irony and a garage filled with (proper hariry-chested) bikes. Yet inexplicably offensive to tothers - maybe with theri own issues…?

:hehe: nice

LOL quality

This Honda rider sounds far too worried about proving to everyone that he is a ‘heterosexual man’ and not a ‘homosexual’.He was protesting far too much about the issue and should just come out of the closet! :smiley:

italics to me look like you are quoting someone… :ermm:


+1 Mods take note…

We should ditch the ‘biker down’ thing and have a ‘While on the bike today…’ thread.

Ha ha :smiley:

Wicked post! More please:P

That’s brill! :smiley:

A large Honda tried cutting me up on Westminster Bridge Roundabout this morning, and nearly took his shoulder out in a collision with a lorry’s mirrors.

You should have pointed him to this webpage.

Oohhh look - Honda’s… :wink:

I’m amazed you managed to have a conversation as a scooterfag (j/k) :stuck_out_tongue:

I wear earplugs. People can call me what they like. I’m just happy to move by and see their lips moving - making some kind of ineffectual noise :cool:

What a knob…

whether you was right or wrong had you took my keys i would have smacked you 1 and if anything came of it claim you was stealing my bike.

I swear that one of those blokes in the front row looks just like Broady!!! :w00t: :stuck_out_tongue: