007 - Joke

Motorcycling
1

Sean Connery was interviewed by Michael Parkinson, and bragged that despite being 72 years of age,he could still have sex 3 times a night.

Cilla Black, who was also a guest, looked intrigued. After the show, Cilla said, "Sean, if I’m not bein too forward, I’d luv to 'ave sex with yer.

Lets go back to my 'ouse, we could 'ave a lorra fun. So they went back to her place. After a couple of drinks they went off to bed and had an hour of mad passionate sex together. Afterwards, Sean says, "If you think that was good, let me sleep for half an hour, and we can have better sex.

But while I’m sleeping, hold my bawls in your left hand and ma willie in your right hand". Cilla looks a bit perplexed,but says, “Okay”. He sleeps for half an hour, awakens, and they have even better sex than before. Then Sean says, "Cilla, that was wonderful. But if you let me sleep for an hour, we can have the best sex yet.

You’ll have to…I know Sean. Yer want me to 'old onto yer bat 'n balls again. No problem hun". Cilla complies with the routine.

Again, the results are absolutely mind blowing. Once it’s all over, they have a drink, Sean lights a cigarette and Cilla asks

“Sean, tell me, this 'oldin yer balls in one hand and yer willie in the other - does it really stimulate yer that much?”

Sean replies, “No, not at all Cilla, but the last time I slept with a scouser , she stole ma wallet !”

2

LOL,

Used to go out with a girl who was going to University at Liverpool John Moores and I saw every stereo type about scousers while I was up there.

Great night life though.

3

LOL… on both accounts. So crude

4

hahahahaha! Good one, both of them! lol

5

David Hasslhoff walks into a bar.

“Aren’t you that Hasslehoff bloke off the telly?” Asks the bartender

“I prefer ‘The Hoff’” Says Hoff

“Alright Dave,” replies the bartender “No Hassle.”

In an effort to determine the top crime fighting agency in the country, the president narrowed the field to three finalist, the CIA, the FBI, and the Chicago Police.

The three remaining contenders were given the task of catching a rabbit which was released into the forest.

The CIA went into the forest. They placed animal informants throughout. They questioned all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigation they concluded that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI went into the forest. After two weeks without a capture, they burned the forest killing everything in it, including the rabbit. They made no apologies. The rabbit deserved it.

The CPD went into the forest. They came out two hours later with a badly beaten bear.
The bear was yelling “Okay, Okay, I’m a rabbit, I’m a rabbit”.

An aging man lived alone in Ireland. His only son was in Long Kesh Prison, and he didn’t know anyone who would spade up his potato garden.

The old man wrote to his son about it, and received this reply, “For HEAVENS SAKE, don’t dig up that garden, that’s where I buried the GUNS!”

At 4 A.M. the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn’t find any guns.

Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next.

His son’s reply was: “Just plant your potatoes.”

6

AHAHAHA! The second one is really nice